Newent VII - Revenge of the Beards - Thursday 19th October

Talk about any Kick Off Tournament here.

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Stainy
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Postby Stainy » Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:36 pm

Martin only lost to Bro man..


Looks very entertaining.. lots of goals there.. :)
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Postby alkis21 » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:44 am

Impressive 10W-0D-0L, Jimbo!
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Postby Steve Camber » Fri Oct 20, 2006 7:57 am

Impressive consistent display from the unbeaten UK champ!
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Postby Sid » Fri Oct 20, 2006 8:29 am

It was a great tournament!!!!!

I still can't believe that Mark and I made such a crazy stormy wet journey to Gloucester ... mine was far enough ... but he did a fair few miles more coming from Hertford ... loooooones! :lol:

Finally met the Beards et al.
Alot friendlier and "cool" than I envisaged... it was a pleasure to attend!
:D

I also can't believe that the guys that are reknowned for having a good munch only had one pizza amongst the 4 of them... while leaving a whole pizza to Mark and I! Wow... thats hospitality! All those stories you heard of Mark being a beast weren't so true, were they Jim?! haha :lol:

Down to business...

Martin warmed up with his first game against me... it was 3 nil within the first quarter of the game and I feared for a thrashing! It was good to play Martin as you don't often encounter a 4-3-3 tactician, and his style of play was a lil different to what I had been used to. Luckily the full time score was only 4-1. Phew!

I then played The Bishoponi ... and raised my game ... storming into a 2 nil lead fairly quickly. I was playing well, very well I thought.... Mark commented I had changed my style of play a lil ... then he whacks me with a 3 goal comeback in his usual playing with my keeper style! :x
Aaargh! I deserved to win this game!!! Well played dude...

Next up was Nick, aka 4Fries. The guy drew in a friendly with Martin as we arrived ... 2-2 I think it was(?) so I was a lil wary, and the guy had been practicing for a while I heard. The score was 4 nil to me. Sorted.

4th up was the time for our host, ... in the red corner, weighing in at 180lbs ... the ex-UK Champion making his long awaited comeback ...Jimbo Beeeeeeeeaaard! (well the comeback was the 1st official game he played 3 matches ago! having won that 3 nil vs John).
Jim played simarly to his Beard Brother ... and took a 3 nil lead (I think?). I did my best dribble ever in this game ... I think I do raise my game against the better players ... pulled 2 goals back ... inc. one that Waynie would've been proud of ... a real POWER venemous shot almost ripping a whole in the keeper's body! The final score ended 5-2 ... the deflected own goal and the penalty cost me dearly ... but I can't have any qualms about the final result. Well played brother!

My last match was vs Uncle Colin ... whose actual name is John! :?
I was hopeful of winning this one as I had been playing reasonably well.
Man... some of my games vs Stainy are nothing compared to this!! It was damn R-U-N-T-Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was playing vs a player who could only run and shoot straight ... and yet I couldn't do sweet FA! To be fair, John's defence was pretty good ... and I was also crap at unlocking it!
0-0 at half-time! I soon took a 2 goal lead ... and John improved his attacking and managed to pull one back with a well taken goal. Final score was 2-1 to me. I was glad I was on course for a 4th place finish...

2nd Round...

Martin won 6-2. Not much else to say! Apart from he played better than the 1st round and is a nice guy!

Mark also beat me more convincingly this time too ... 6-3. Oh well... there's goes my hopes of 3rd place!

4-2 against Nick. I was reverting back to playing my usual predictable style... damnit! I'm almost there... just need more composure!

James then beat me 6-3. I produced the best pass of my KO career, defence splitting and totally timed and planned... and what happens... he catches me up and hacks me down for a penalty!
I'll get the trap and move routines sorted soon... almost did them a few times in the other games but last ditch clearances prevented further goals.
The Beard Brothers must be kept away from the wings!!!
I now declare you ready for the World Cup!

The last game, as it turned out, was a better performance from me and ended with a nice 6-1 victory vs John. I think the floodgates opened for me in the 2nd half. Don't be disheartened by the 0 points total mate ... you played well at times! ...so stay away from the sharp objects and the rope! I'm sure you'll get a victory at the World Cup!!


That was to be the end of the tournament ... and with 6 points difference amongst each league position, it was clear to see that everyone had lost to the player above them. The league table was pretty much set from the start... Revenge of the Beards indeed!!!

Jimbo is a ChaYmpion once again!! Newent has been conquered ... now for the rest of the World!!

8)
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Postby uncle_colin » Fri Oct 20, 2006 10:21 am

Sid wrote: Don't be disheartened by the 0 points total mate ... you played well at times! ...so stay away from the sharp objects and the rope! I'm sure you'll get a victory at the World Cup!!



8)


Cheers mate. I definitely needed this experience, despite how soul-destroying it was. There were a few games where I could keep the score at 0-0 for quite a while, even against Jim for a whole half, but somewhere inside I'm thinking 'Why prolongue the inevitable?' and once that first goal goes in I fall to pieces. I'm also aware my style of play is dreadfully boring, I just have to remember how to attack again! It's been so long!

It was nice meeting you guys.
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Postby Bounty Bob » Fri Oct 20, 2006 10:43 am

Thanks to the Beards for organising and to everyone for tolerating our late arrival. I had discussed it with Sid and we decided that if we left his for 5:30 we'd have plenty of time to get there. Sid had other plans though. I was late because I had to sort out some last minute bits and arrived at Sids for 5:55. Sid arrived at Sids for 6:25 though. He then took ages to get ready, (he's worse than a woman!), then we set off about 6:45 already over an hour behind the plan. An accident at the first junction after we got on the M4 did not help things along either. We finally arrived at James's kick office at about 8:20 I think and were ready to commence the action.

My first game was against Sid and I thought I'd be well placed for a victory as Sid had just had the long drive while I chilled out in the passenger seat, (there wasn't to be much chilling on the way back though but that's a story for later :D). Anyway, Sid obviously had a different game plan and proceeded to head into a 2-0 lead. I was down but not out and needed to fight back. Slowly but surely I managed to pick the goals back while keeping Sid at bay and at 2-0 I was worried that Sid was going to pull off a cheesy lob. He didn't manage it and much to his disgust I sneaked a late winner. Sid claimed that he did not deserve to lose that match but I'd argue that scoring 2 goals then hardly having another shot does not deserve to be a match winning performance. I was to shortly find out how true that assesment was.

Game 2 saw me up against Nick who I had previously played in Stoke. I don't actually remember what the score was but I knew that I was a better player now than back then. Nick was admitting that he hadn't played much at all and after my fight back against Sid I was feeling confident. The final result was 6-2 and I was starting to feel confident about securing 3rd place. Nick is an entertaining player and is second only to Haydn in terms of complaining and swearing whilst playing, so I enjoyed our games together.

Next up was John who was certainly the least practiced player there but he is still not without his dangers and cannot be taken lightly. The final result was 5-2 and I now had 3 wins out of 3, was feeling confident and ready for my next opponents. Who's left? Only the two Beards. Bugger!

First up was Martin and I was expecting the worst. Thirty seconds later and the score was already 2-0 except somehow it was in my favour. WTF! :shock: Now my confidence was sky high, I knew that I could score more and I knew that my defence was much more solid than in our past encounter. I started to think the unthinkable but unfortunately I'd had my glory and Martin settled down. Slowly but surely he pulled them back, 2-1, 2-2 and 3-2. It then settled down for a bit and we both had missed chances. Then all of a sudden there was a quick double whammy and it was 5-2. With a late goal sealing my fate I was on the end of a 6-2 and I once again knew my place. As I said earlier, 2 goals scored then little else in the way of attack does not deserve a win and Martin thoroughly deserved his 3 points.

My final game of the round was against James who had already beaten his brother who beat me by 4 goals. Things did not look good. I was surprised to find that this was a really tight and close match but at the end of the game I'd had no answer to James's fortress of a defence. I felt that I defended well except for one instance where I missed a clearing header. James was straight on the loose ball and punished me to put the score to 1-0. Things continued to be tight and this was probably one of the most intense midfield battles I've experienced playing Kick Off 2. James kept plugging away and did manage a second goal to finish the match a 2-0 winner and secure himself 5 wins out of five in round 1.

Round two started as round one began with Sid, Nick and John being my first 3 opponents. I was in my stride now and was pleased to secure three more wins which after an Amiga failure putting paid to round 3 secured 3rd place for me. I had a much easier time against Sid winning 6-3. Nick was now playing a little better and this time the score was 5-2. I'm not quite sure what happened to John in the next game but I managed to win 9-0 for my biggest winning margin of my KOA career. It was one of those games where pretty much everything went in for me and nothing went in for John. Actually that's not entirely true, after a keeper fumble my strikers were nohwere to be seen with Johns defence well placed to get the ball on the edge of the 6 yard box. John ran up to the ball and had to quickly decide whether to trap and let the keeper come, or clear the ball safely up the pitch. Unfortunately John went for hidden option number 3, boot the ball as hard as you can into your own net from 6 yards out :lol:. So he did actually score in the game but I think it's safe to say he'd rather not have done.

This just left me with the Beard duo to finish up and due to the order of games being skewed by the failed Amiga, I played James first. Another extremely tight game followed. I can't remember who took the lead first or if James even went two up, all I know is that with 30 seconds left it was 2-1 to James but I'd just equalised to 2-2 and could possibly snatch a precious point. Unfortunately with 24 seconds left it was 3-2 to James after I failed to stop his kick off routine for the first time in the two games. Bugger. Oh well, I took a lot of encouragement from runnign the ex UK champion so close. Especially as he hadn't practiced so by all rights should have been super elite :lol:.

This now meant I was level on points with Martin but I had to play him and he had one further game after that. Could I possibly beat him, gaining a lead and leaving him needing a win in his last game to save his pride. Err, no! :lol: The final score was 6-3 to Martin and although I felt that the game was closer than the final score suggests there was never any doubt that Martin was going to win this match. Another late two goal double whammy sealed the deal and second place to ensure that there was a Beard 1-2 at the end of the night.

At the end of the night I felt that it had definately been worthwhile going and now feel fully prepared for the world cup next weekend. This week I've beaten Camber for the first time and given the Beards a run for their money. I dont' think I'll be in any danger of worrying the last 16 in the world cup but certainly hope for a decent position in the 17-32 play offs.

The fun of the night wasn't quite ended yet though. The fun of Sid's driving was still to come. Things got off to a shaky start after leaving the office. We came to a junction where we kinda needed to go straight on but it was no entry meaning a quick left, right sequence was needed to head in the right direction. Sid clearly got confused by this as we actually ended up at a dead stop a few feet from the grass verge with the no entry just to our right and the left turn just to the left. There was nothing more to do but to look at each other and just start laughing. A quick reversal later and we were on our way again.

Next on the agenda for Sid's magical journey was the roundabout of 3 revolutions. I was starting to feel quite dizzy before seeing the sign for the M4 and pointing him in the right direction. I'm not really sure how this happened as he had his navigation on and it was telling him to go where we finally went!

Sid then started to entertain me with stories of cars that he's written off and how he'd once been lucky to escape with his life. I was now beginning to seriously wish that I'd driven and wondering if I'd actually live to write this account.

The fun and games didn't end there though. Still to come was the cone and lorry incident and the crazy lunatic other driver. First up was the cones and the lorry. The motorway was going from three lanes to one and there was a lorry in the inside lane already. Sid decided that we'd be able to get past him so sped up. Unfortunately it was perfectly clear to this passenger that we were going to meet the cones long before we got past the lorry. Fortunately Sid realised this before it was too late and slammed on the brakes before humbly tucking in behind the lorry. He later admitted that he thought we'd hit the cones and mentioned that he really doesn't like driving in the dark. Now he tells me!

Oh well, surely nothing else would happen? Nope. We were happily driving along when the bloke behind us started regularly flashing his lights at Sid. This continued on for a fair few minutes and even after the guy moved out a lane to overtake. He just sat in the other lane flashing his lights, so Sid slowed down to let him pass but the other guy slowed down too, pulling level with us. Sid then sped up and the other guy sped up too continuing his flashing antics. Sid then sped up considerably and we pulled away from the nutter while continuing to be flashed. He then caught up again and we were starting to get a little concerned. Sid was confident he didn't have a dodgy light or anythng as his car had been serviced the previous day. The guy continued to flash for a while before eventually passing and going away. We weren't far from Sid's and when we got there we checked his lights etc and they were all fine. The bloke was just a complete nut.

At least now I was safely back in my own car and could continue home without incident. I eventually rolled in at about 2:05am for the second time this week after playing Kick Off and went to bed. Really tired now.

Thanks once again to everyone who played last night, I had a really good time. Thanks especially to James for being such a fine host.

Last night James mentioned html for the table, so here it is:
<table><tr><td><b>Name-</td><td><b>Pld-</td><td><b>Won-</td><td><b>Drn-</td></b><td><b>Lst-</td></b><td><b>For-</td></b><td><b>Agst-</td></b><td><b>Dif-</td></b><td><b>Pts</td></b><tr><td>James</td><td>10</td><td>10</td><td>0</td><td>0</td><td>44</td><td>13</td><td>31</td><td>30</td></tr><tr><td>Martin</td><td>10</td><td>8</td><td>0</td><td>2</td><td>50</td><td>23</td><td>27</td><td>24</td><tr><td>Mark</td><td>10</td><td>6</td><td>0</td><td>4</td><td>41</td><td>28</td><td>13</td><td>18</td></tr><tr><td>Mandhir</td><td>10</td><td>4</td><td>0</td><td>6</td><td>29</td><td>34</td><td>-5</td><td>12</td></tr><tr><td>Nick</td><td>10</td><td>2</td><td>0</td><td>8</td><td>18</td><td>42</td><td>-24</td><td>6</td></tr><tr><td>John</td><td>10</td><td>0</td><td>0</td><td>10</td><td>5</td><td>47</td><td>-42</td><td>0</td></tr></tr></table>
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Postby JamesHBeard » Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:37 pm

Great write ups guys.. I will write up some time later once I calm down..

Got a roasting this morning from the boss cause some selfish ignorant twats left a hoard of cigarette ends directly outside the main office door entrance and unfortunately we had a prospective customer coming to our premises to see our software....

So.... Newent Gatherings are not going to be happening anymore..

I dont mind clearing up beer cans and pizza boxes but if you think I am clearing up your smokes.. think again..

Thanks a lot guys.
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Postby Ely » Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:41 pm

Ouch!
NewEly - He is here sometimes...................
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Postby Freshmaker » Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:42 pm

JamesHBeard wrote:Thanks a lot guys.


:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Bounty Bob » Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:07 pm

JamesHBeard wrote:I dont mind clearing up beer cans and pizza boxes but if you think I am clearing up your smokes.. think again..
Damn those smokers, spoiling things for everyone.
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Postby alkis21 » Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:10 pm

JamesHBeard wrote:Got a roasting this morning from the boss cause some selfish ignorant twats left a hoard of cigarette ends directly outside the main office door entrance.


I swear I was at home yesterday! I have witnesses!

Seriously now, this is very unfortunate. Newent was a legendary and extremely convenient Kick Off venue. :(
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Postby Ely » Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:11 pm

Dare we ask who these 'smokers' were then?
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Postby Bounty Bob » Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:14 pm

It can't help anything to name names. Real shame as Sid and I were already talking about the next time as we drove back. :(

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